SPECKS OF LIFE: Hostility, conflict and revenge

Most ordinary folks take revenge at the slightest provocation as the next best measure to settle a score. Do you believe this?

This type of mindset is meant to emphasize the tit for tat action, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth kind of thing.

A conflict that begins from hostility oftentimes ends up in revenge as mirrored in real and reel life situations.

Sometimes, people lose their sanity trying to figure out the best remedy to deal with difficult people and problematic situations.

It is because they cannot separate the trivial from the more vital concerns in life, taking circumstances and conditions purely on their face value without studying first the consequences.

Thus, people err in their judgments and commit mistakes they usually pay dearly for acts of violence and retaliation.

Just to straighten out our topic let us check the meanings.

Hostility in Webster’s simplest definition is an “unfriendly state or action.”

Conflict is defined as a “clash between hostile or opposing elements, ideas or forces.”

Revenge is defined as “an act or instance of retaliation to get even; an opportunity for getting satisfaction; retribution, reprisal or vengeance.”

Psychologically speaking, a person who is involved in a conflict, personal or otherwise, is in a state of burdensome condition. He needs to figure out how to settle the issue and get out of it alive and well.

Until the issue is resolved, this person develops a kind of uneasiness and hostility against whom he is in conflict. This hostility transforms into seething anger because the person thinks he has been grievously hurt and offended.

If the conflict is not settled fairly and justly at a reasonable time, the person at the receiving end usually ponders about getting even. He is now ensnared in a vengeful mood and mindset.

To make a more concrete parallel, just look at how we Filipinos take on the results of constitutionally-mandated elections.

Losers unceasingly complain they have been cheated and make announcements to get public attention and sympathy.

Because of this poor loser’s behaviour, they do not realize that they have turned into hostile parties to an issue that they inflicted on themselves.

The hostility has turned into a long drawn out conflict, sidelining the more essential factors like unity and cooperation that are vital to our country’s progress and peaceful community life.

Now, they (the losers) want the winners out – the duly-elected authority – so that they could get their revenge.

Can you see how even the media are dragged into this inane and useless hostility and conflict?

Why can’t people exert a consistent, honest effort to maintain right ethical relationships? Why can’t people on the other side of the fence bury their hatchet?

A well-known sociologist, writer and author says people should confront issues and concerns with love and recognize the power of forgiveness.

He explains: “Concentrate on what’s important. We waste far too much adrenaline on trivial things that will not matter next week. Nothing will drive you faster than anger, hostility and thoughts of revenge.

“Always remember that for you to keep your sanity, you must keep your relationships right.”

Isn’t this very enlightening? All goes well that ends well, right?

For a nation long enslaved by ignorance, Filipinos cannot remain inert and oblivious to the goings-on without moving a finger. These decadent conditions have plagued us for centuries of foreign domination. We must free ourselves from the chains of bondage that have pulled us down in the quicksand of negativity, poverty and disunity.

Stay positive and fulfill your dreams. (Email your feedback to fredlumba@yahoo.com.) Matthew 5:3. GOD BLESS THE PHILIPPINES!