by Maria Theresa L. Ungson
WHAT MAKES a man attractive? A seismic shift in gender roles is turning men into objects of desire–much as women have traditionally been. At the leading edge of this social revolution, a very select group of women care–unusually stringently–about men’s bodies. Increasingly, men are running into a double standard of attractiveness–what women like about men’s bodies and what men think is manly.
“There’s coming to be an acceptance of men as sex objects, men as beautiful,” reports fashion arbiter Holly Brubach, style editor for the New York Times Magazine. Male mannequins now sport genital bulges and larger chests, and for the first time in window-dressing history, have achieved equality with female mannequins.
There is power in a certain kind of masculine beauty, and it’s a turn on according to the first national US survey ever done on men’s appearance and how they feel about it, collected from Psychology Today readers. It turns out that the world indeed is changing, and that there is now a subset of women who themselves are attractive, educated, and financially secure, who care about every aspect of the way their men look. They can choose good-looking men, and they do.
These women, by the way, are currently the minority. Still, all revolutions begin with a band of pioneers. This seems to be a start of change in how men will be viewed by the public.
The male body has arrived. Not only is it being offered up for scrutiny, it seems to be both hypermasculine and strangely feminine, a new mix that accurately reflects tremendous and ambivalent changes in culture.
Men believe their appearance has a greater impact on women than women themselves actually acknowledge. From hairline to penis size, men believe their specific physical features strongly influence their personal acceptability by women.
Women, in general, are quite willing to adapt to their own mate’s appearance, accepting features such as baldness or extra weight, even though their ideal male is different. Women tend to like what they’ve got–whether he is bearded, uncircumcised, short, or otherwise “off” the norm.
A significant subset of women who are financially independent and rate themselves as physically attractive place a high value on male appearance. This new and vocal minority unabashedly declares a strong preference for better-looking men. They also care more about penis size, both width and length.
For both men and women, personality wins hands down: it’s what men believe women seek, and indeed, what women say is most important in choosing a partner.
Nonetheless, men still care about their own looks. Though men give top priority to their sense of humor and intelligence, a nice face is a close third, and body build is not far behind. Women give an overall lower significance to men’s physical appearance, but height is still an important turn-on for women.
Men are scared of losing their hair, but women are more accepting of baldness in a mate than men realize. Both men and women prefer clean-shaven men–today.
Men are less worried about being overweight than are most women, but more concerned about muscle mass–reflecting our cultural ideals of thin women and powerful men. The muscle-bound body build was highly rated by men, while women preferred a medium, lightly muscled build in their ideal males.
Curiously enough, there seems to be emerging a single standard of beauty for men today: a hypermasculine, powerfully shaped body. It’s an open question whether that standard will become as punishing for men as has women’s superthin standard.
We are moving away from the old adage: men do, women are. As noted anthropologist David Gilmore, Ph.D., author of Manhood in the Making, states, “That dual view will never entirely go away, but now we’re reaching some kind of compromise, where there is more choice. Women can choose men who are not rich or successful, but who are beautiful.”
Although the survey was done in the US, I can truly say that the same is going on in the Philippines. With the emergence of women power and gender sensitivity, women are in a way considered the “stronger” sex. Besides that, a whole lot of our women prefer to work rather than be a housewife. Gone are the days of the subservient woman. The growing trend is women who work and earn their own money. Nowadays, women don’t really mind helping out in expenses or paying for the bill occasionally and their partners now are also more willing to accept the “help” offered by their lady. That doesn’t make them less of a man it just signifies that they do recognize and respect the contribution of women in the relationship and household.
There are women nowadays who think more like a man since they have the position and the salary that men make too. Men who are the usual providers in the family have control over the family. Women who earn and support themselves are very similar to men. They can have several relationships at a time and really choose their partners who would suit their criteria of attractiveness. Although society frowns at women who support their male partners, come to think of it, if you have the money and want to share it with a partner isn’t it but wise to share it with someone who would stimulate your senses? Why “waste” the cash on someone who’s not your type anyway? Thus, let us not judge these strong, powerful women for their wanting a beautiful man…this is something very natural and should be seen as simply an exercise of their freedom of choice.
There is indeed a growing culture of beautiful men! And, men too are a sight to behold. Well, we women can handle the gaping mouth and the obtrusive stares better than men. Note that women do look and appreciate men who are clean, look and smell good. Uhuh, the word “yummy” crosses our mind! It’s not only you guys who watch the ladies…you too are being watched! It really takes two to tango!
