by Zhaun Ortega
LOVE is definitely in the air; sappy love songs are blasted off the airwaves, our favorite cafes are filled with paper hearts, scattered all around our malls are styrofoam hearts that seem to have been bathed in red glitters, we receive a dozen heart-shaped pillows on our Facebook walls, and our friends start wearing matching pink and red ensembles. For somebody attached, this would be a welcome experience; something that would help them get in the mood for the love month.
For one who is single, it is a whole different story. It makes them realize how desperately single they are, and how there isn’t a place for their breed during this month. Singletons retaliate by telling everybody how much they hate V-Day; balloons, flowers, chocolates and all. But the truth remains that all they hate is the feeling that they can’t truly get into the season because they don’t have a passport to go to Lovesville a.k.a a partner. To make up for it, here are some things to remind you, my dear singleton partyphile, how lucky you are to be single.
The advantages of being single:
1Girls Say: You can watch all the chick flicks you want, without having to worry about that twerp who rolls his eyes every single time you are about to tear up.
Guys Say: You can watch all the Sci-Fi movies you like without worrying about that twerp who feels the need to remind you that everything you find cool about the movie is phony and can’t happen in real life.
2 Girls Say: You could stop minding the toilet seat for once in your life. You can actually sit in it without worrying about sitting on piss.
Guys Say: You could leave the toilet seat up without having to come back to the rest room to put it back down.
3Girls Say: You could choose from all the guys who would want to drive you home after a long night of partying.
Guys Say: You could drive straight home after a long and tiring night of partying.
4Girls Say: You could forget about birth control.
Guys Say: You could fool around as much as you want.
5Girls: You could accept all those free drinks from hot (or not-so-hot) guys you meet while out partying.
Guys: You could spend all your money on booze for yourself. Only.
6Girls Say: You could wear your favorite bikinis without having to answer to anyone.
Guys Say: You could ogle at your favorite girls in bikinis without having to answer to anyone.
7Girls Say: You could text all the cute boys you like.
Guys: You actually HAVE money to buy load to text all the cute girls you like.
8Girls Say: You could do whatever you want, when you want to do it.
Guys Say: Ditto to that.
9Girls Say: You could focus on your career, your education, your fitness, and your passions.
Guys Say: You could focus on that hot chick from the gym that you have always had your eye on.
10Girls Say: You do not have to listen to snoring and farting all night.
Guys Say: You do not have to worry about getting cookie crumbs on the bed.
11Girls Say: You can stay in the shower for as long as you want.
Guys Say: You can have the remote all to yourself, without having to change the channel to “important” stuff like News of Koreanovelas.
12Girls Say: You do not have to worry about being nice to your mother-in-law
Guys Say: You do not have to worry about being nice to her annoying best friend who has a habit of criticizing everything you do.
13Girls Say: You can wear Granny panties without having to explain to anyone.
Guys Say: You can wear your favorite jeans (that you has managed to stay unwashed for a month) without having to explain to anyone.
14Girls Say: You can party all you want.
Guys Say: You can party all you want.
Catch Confessions of a Partyphile, the radio show, on 105.9 Mix FM every Wednesday evenings from 6 to 9 in the PM.
For comments, suggestions, and more confessions from this partyphile, log on to http://party.i.ph or search for Confessions of a Partyphile on Facebook.
