Partyphile woes

Here is the deal. I only receive two types of mail. Being a partyphile, I get a lot of letters of invitation for events, social gatherings, or party-interventions. Being a sarcastic bastard, I also get a lot of hate mail which are a lot more entertaining than invites. Thankfully, I get soo much more hate mail than event invites and that inspires me to open my mailbox daily.
So you could only imagine my surprise when I receive a letter from a woman who was asking some advice. I couldn’t believe it! After three years of talking about parties on my radio show and writing about partying on this newspaper column, somebody actually trusts my party-sense enough to ask me a question. So that inspired me to start giving some advice to people who actually need help in terms of party etiquette, party planning, the art of socializing, or anything related to the partyphile lifestyle. So here it is, my first ever advice article!
Jill writes:
“Hello partyphile! My name is Jill. I wanted to ask you something about partying. I was invited to a party to celebrate my friend’s return to the Philippines. I got an invitation and it doesn’t say anything about taking a friend with me. I don’t think I know anyone else in the party aside from my friend who is hosting it. Should I still attend? Should I bring a friend with me? What may I do? Thanks for the help”
Partyphile answers:
Hey Jill! Thanks for writing in. I’m sure a lot of people can relate with that problem. Unfortunately, in this country, event invitations are taken more lightly and people think it is alright to tag a friend (or friends) along to any party or event. However, you must understand why the party’s host/ess sent out invitations to specific people that s/he wants to see in her event.
Any party must work around a budget. Thus, the number of people attending matters a lot. Imagine yourself in her shoes.
If you invited twenty people, you would probably prepare enough food and drinks for that number of people (or, if you are a host/ess with good sense, a little over that number). Thus, when your guests bring in more people than expected, you would either run out of food and refreshments, or would have to buy more; which just brings unnecessary stress.
Also, don’t ask the host if you could bring more friends with you. Obviously, the only choice s/he has it to agree with you because it would be very embarrassing to turn such a suggestion down. Pressuring the host/ess is not a good even if it means that you get your way and get to enjoy the party with your friend.
So here are my suggestions. If you are not very close with the host/ess, I would suggest that you send a negative RSVP. That way, s/he wouldn’t be expecting you at the party. Instead, send some gift like homemade pastries, some wine, or foodstuff s/he could serve at the party. This tells the host that you have not forgotten about the occasion and that you want to share it with him/her. Also, it would be good to ask the host/ess if you could set another date for you to have some coffee or dinner to “celebrate” whatever it is that the party is celebrating.
However, the best thing to do is to go to the party. Your friend obviously invited you because s/he wants to share this moment with you; s/he wants to create a wonderful memory with you. Once you get to the party (alone), I’m sure you would find some common friends or familiar faces. If not, you could always try to make friends with other people in the party. The thing is, you can always go home once you feel uncomfortable. Until then, you owe it to your friend to at least show up.
I hope I answered your question Jill!
Thank you for writing in.
Catch Confessions of a Partyphile on the radio every Wednesday nights from 6 to 9 on 105.9 Mix FM. For questions, comments, suggestions, and more confessions from this partyphile, log on to http://party.i.ph or follow him on twitter.com/zhaun