By CHENEEN R. CAPON
A recent survey conducted by the Social Weather System ( SWS) revealed that 67 percent of adult Filipinos believe in long distance relationship (LDR), while 73 percent believe in “forever.” While the perception of “forever” is common among married Filipino couples, partners in LDR also believe in forever, the survey revealed.
EDGE Davao asked 24- year-old Gracielle Deanne Tubera to share her experience being involved in a long-distance relationship. Gracielle works for Davao Doctors Hospital and is a member of Young Davao Writers.
1. How long have you been in a long distance relationship and how did you two meet?
My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. He lives in Dumaguete, and I’m in Davao. We met two years ago during a month-long writers workshop that was notorious for its summer romances. We talked about art all day, and were surrounded by the sea, or the silence of the mountains, at night. The romantics in us didn’t stand a chance.
2. Is this the first time you have been in an LDR? What are the factors you considered before deciding to enter a long distance relationship?
This is my first relationship! :-)Â We didn’t think much about the factors when it started. We wanted the relationship, so none of the factors really mattered.
3. What are your common problems? Are they recurring? How do you resolve your problems with your boyfriend?
We fight whenever he doesn’t pick up his phone during a night out and I end up thinking that he’s dead in a ditch somewhere. Just kidding! The end of every visit is always difficult because it’s then that I realize exactly how much I’m missing. It’s hard to get through the last day of a visit when all you can think about is how you’ll have to wait for another five months before you can hold each other’s hands again. The feeling subsides over time, though.
My boyfriend and I have a rule when we get into arguments: Solve the problem before hanging up. It’s not a rule that we imposed on each other, it’s just how we’ve dealt with our problems. We have to talk to each other until we both have explained and understood each other’s sides. Hanging up on the other doesn’t solve anything, and it only makes problems worse.
4. What are the pros and cons of LDR based on your experience?
Pros: The communication is so open and transparent in a long-distance relationship (at least in mine). My boyfriend and I make up for the distance by constantly communicating with each other. I don’t think I’ve ever been this open to another person. 🙂
Also, I get to live out a life that’s completely independent of my boyfriend. I love being independent. 🙂
Cons: We can’t see each other whenever we want to. LDRs, with all its back and forths, can also get pretty expensive.
5. Do you believe in forever? (Please include your future plans that involve your boyfriend.)
No LDR can work if a couple doesn’t have plans to finally be together in the same place, so that’s where we’re going. 🙂
