by Edcer Escudero Infomercials, those idiotic visual come-ons of the 2010 presidential hopefuls, have become familiar amusing daily fare on the idiot box. They disturb your mental equilibrium, if not outrigthly insult your intelligence. Come, join me and let’s have some fun trivializing those infomercials of the moneyed presidentiables whose dream of capturing Malacañang Palace could either be a triumphant reality, or an ego-busting frustration. Infomercial One: Richard “Dick” Gordon. “Go, Go, Go! Go na ako! Go na Tayo!” SOS: Go where, Dicky boy? To Subic or Clark or Congo? Infomercial Two: Joseph “Erap” Estrada. “Humanda na Kayo. Erap, babalik na!” SOS: Aba, naku! Gustong mag-repeat performance ang plunder boy. Kulang pa yata ang nakuha niyang milyones. Infomercial Three: Benigno “Noynoy” Aquino. “Hindi ka nag-iisa.” SOS: Oo nga, maraming mga kaibigang artista si Kris. Pero teka, bakit may dala silang mga sulo? May aswang ba silang susunugin? Infomercial Four: Manuel “Mar” Roxas II “Hindi ko kayo pababayaan.” SOS: Eh, bakit mo iniwan ang iyong mga supporters. Wala ka palang isang salita. Infomercial Five: Gilbert “Gibo” Teodoro. “Galing at talino. Yan ang kailangan ng bayan.” SOS: No doubt Gibo is brainy and capable. But, alas, history is not on his side. Remember Raul Roco? Jovito Salonga? Raul Manglapus? Carlos Romulo? Lito Osmena? They all had galing at talino, but they all lost. If Teodoro fails to make it on May 10, blame it on “galing at talino.” Infomercial Six: Manny “Money” Villar. “Si Villar ang tunay na mahirap, si Villar ang sagot sa kahirapan.” SOS: Villar would be hard put to concretize those grand assertions and motherhood statements. Is he truly the political Pandora’s Box which contains the answers to the nation’s ills? This we’ve got to see. Infomercial Seven: Francis “Chiz” Escudero “May bagong umagang darating.” SOS: Well, isang umaga, sinabi ni Chiz na nagbago ang isip niya at hindi na siya tatakbo pagka pangulo. Ang dumating ay ang dating umaga. Poor Chiz, he lost not only his face, but a good amount of credibility, He is a victim’ of immaturity. But, then, immaturity could be a blessing in disguise. Who knows, he might be a leading contender for the presidency in 2016. He must learn from his mistakes. And avoid being pontifical in speech.
