THINK ON THESE – Prescription for a superb marriage

“All marriages are happy,” notes Nancy L. Van Pelt, author of Highly Effective Marriage. “It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.”
Why are some marriages successful while others fail? While is there a marriage made in heaven and a marriage bound to end even before it begins? 
It maybe because some people understand how complicated a person is and others have no idea on how to deal with the individual he or she is supposed to stay with forever – “in riches and in poorer and in health and in sickness”?
“People are different,” explains Gordon O. Martinborough, the man behind the book, I Love You. “And because this is so, we often perceive the same things differently. There are three primary modes of perception. Some people are visual and they are influenced most by what they see. Others are auditory and they are influenced most by what they hear. Still others are kinaesthetic and they are impressed most by what they feel. 
“While it is true that usually people operate on all three levels,” Martinborough continues, “in the experience of most persons, one mode is dominant. Now, how does this apply to love? Different people express their love in different ways, and different persons desire to be loved in different ways.”
But generally, there is a formula on why couples stay together. Forever may be farfetched but it is attainable. “You will always be my endless love,” so goes a line of a very popular song. 
If you ask Dr. Ed Wheat what is his formula for a superb marriage, he would tell you: “Do it BEST.” By doing best, you will have not just a successful marriage but a superb one. Best actually is an acronym which stands for Blessing, Edifying, Sharing, and Touching.
Dr. Wheat is an American physician and certified sex therapist. He has helped thousands of troubled couples improve their love-lives and build happier marriages with his unique counselling methods. 
Some years ago, he published a book aptly titled Love-Life for Every Married Couple. In this book, he explores marital conflict in a straightforward manner, focusing on the reasons why couples experience frustration and unhappiness in their love-life. 
“I read everything I can get my hand on regarding marriages, the home, and family relationships,” said Rev. Charles Swindoll, another noted Christian author. “But in all my reading, I know of nothing better than Dr. Ed Wheat’s book when it comes to the subject of intimacy between husbands and their wives. It is biblical, practical, specific, easily understood, and filled with hope.”
Now, that you have an idea of what the book is all about, allow me to share you some insights from the book, particularly his BEST prescription. Let’s start with the letter B, which stands for “blessing.”
“The principle of blessing is a biblical one, and the Christian is commanded to practice it,” he writes. The word “blessing” in the New Testament context (eulogia) is based on two Greek words: eu, meaning “well,” and logos, meaning “word.” Thus, the first way of blessing your marriage partner is to speak well of him or her, and to respond with good words even when your partner’s speech becomes harsh, critical, or insulting.
You also bless your partner and your marriage in these three other ways: (1) through your practical behavior, which shows loving kindness toward him or her in actions large and small; (2) through conveying your attitude of thankfulness and appreciation for him/her, and (3) through your prayer to God on his/her behalf. 
“Edifying,” another biblical term, refers to the building up of individuals. Elizabeth Barrett Browning expressed the principle of edifying in a few succinct words when she wrote to the man she would marry, “Make thy love larger to enlarge my worth.”
Dr. Wheat refers edifying to “an extended love expressed in positive ways that enlarges the self-worth of the beloved.” He points out, “You see, this is a great gift that you can give to your partner.”
But how do you edify your mate? A careful study of New Testament principles and the example of the Song of Solomon indicates that husbands and wives each have their own ways of building up one another. The husband edifies his wife by praising her. The wife edifies her husband by her loving response to him.
“Remember, edification builds up, never tears down,” Dr. Wheat reminds. “So love gives your partner freedom to grow and develop as a person without fear of failure and fear of hurtful criticism.”
What about “sharing”? Says Dr. Wheat: “Sharing should touch all areas of life – your time, activities, interests and concerns, ideas and innermost thoughts, spiritual walk, family objectives and goals, etc.”
Sharing, he adds, demands giving of yourself, listening to your partner, and, as you live life together, developing a sensitive awareness of moments that offer possibilities for deepening the love between you.
Finally, there’s “touching.” When we were still kids, a tender touch tells us that we were cared for. It calms our fears, soothes pain, brings us comfort, or gives us the blessed satisfaction of emotional security. As adults, touching continues to be a primary means of communicating with those you love, whether you are conscious or it or not.
The Holy Bible indicates that touching a woman kindles a flame that should be natural within marriage. If you would like to kindle a flame in your own marriage, then begin to show your love through physical touching.
“Blessing… Edifying… Sharing… Touching… A four-point prescription for a superb marriage,” Dr. Wheat says. “But prescription are useful only when taken as directed. As a family doctor, I find that some of my patients do not take their prescriptions or do not follow the directions on them. At their next visit, when there has been no improvement, the truth comes out.”