“You always do what you want to do. This is true with every act. You may say that you had to do something, or that you were forced to, but actually, whatever you do, you do by choice. Only you have the power to choose for yourself.” – W. Clement Stone
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Dr. Charles Wood, longtime head of the psychology department at Baylor University, used to tell his students: “There are three decisions each person must make for himself – the choice of a profession, of a life’s mate, and of a religious faith. Parents and friends will, at times, try to decide one of these things for you, but if you are to be happy and successful in life, they are decisions you alone can make.”
Concerning our choices, Joseph Epstein wrote: “We do not choose to be born. We do not choose our parents. We do not choose our historical epic, or the country of our birth, or the immediate circumstances of our upbringing. We do not, most of us, choose to die; nor do we choose the time and conditions of our death.”
Epstein added: “But within all this realm of choicelessness, we do choose how we shall live: courageously or in cowardice, honorably or dishonorably, with purpose or adrift. We decide what is important and what is trivial in life. We decide that what makes us significant is either what we do or what we refuse to do.”
He ended his explanation with these words: “But no matter how indifferent the universe may be to our choices and decisions, these choices and decisions are ours to make. We decide. We choose. And as we decide and choose, so are our lives formed.”
I was reminded of the story of Joe, an American who inherited a million dollars from his grandfather. The will, however, stipulated that he had to accept it either in Chile or Brazil. He personally picked Brazil. Had he chosen Chile, he would have received his inheritance in land on which uranium, gold, and silver had just been discovered.
Once in Brazil, Joe had to choose between receiving his inheritance in coffee or nuts. He chose nuts. Too bad! The bottom fell out of the nut market and coffee went up to US$1.50 per kilo, wholesale. Poor Joe lost everything he had to his name.
Joe went out and sold his gold watch for the money he needed to fly back home. It seems that he had enough for a ticket to either New York or Boston. He chose Boston. When the plane for New York taxied up, he noticed it was a brand-new 747 super-jet with all the latest technology. The plane for Boston arrived, and it was a 1928 old Ford trimotor with a sway back. It was filled with crying children and tethered goats and sheep. It seemed like it took all day to get off the runway.
Over the Andes, one of the engines fell off. Joe then made his way to the captain. Remembering the story of Jonah – the prophet who was swallowed by a big fish – he told him, “I’m a jinx on this plane. Let me out if you want to save your lives. Give me a parachute.”
The captain readily agreed. But he added, “On this plane, anybody who bails out must wear two parachutes.” Joe did not ask why as he jumped out of the plane. As he fell through the air, he tried to make up his mind which ripcord to pull. Finally, he chose the one on the left. It was rusty, and the wire pulled loose. So he pulled the other handle. The chute opened, but its shroud line snapped. In desperation, Joe cried, “Saint Francis, save me!”
A hand reached out of heaven and grabbed Joe by the wrist and let him dangle in mid-air. Then a gentle but inquisitive voice asked, “Saint Francis Xavier or Saint Francis of Assisi?”
Well, Joe’s answer was not as good as mine. Life after all is a big gamble, either you win or you lose.
In A Great and Terrible Beauty, Libba Bray wrote this conversation:
“What happens if your choice is misguided?” I ask, softly. Miss Moore takes a pear from the bowl and offers us the grapes to devour. “You must try to correct it.”
“But what if it’s too late? What if you can’t?”
There’s a sad sympathy in Miss Moore’s catlike eyes as she regards my painting again. She paints the thinnest sliver of shadow along the bottom of the apple, bringing it fully to life.
“Then you must find a way to live with it.”
We make our choices and then our choices make us. French existentialist, Jean-Paul Sarte, expressed it this way: “We create ourselves by virtue of the multitude of our choices.” Our choices produce acts which produce character and character eventually become permanent.
Life is a matter of choice. There are always two sides to a coin. Left and right. Good and bad. Beautiful and ugly. Rich and poor. Each of us is given a choice to make. And life is a lot like tennis – the one who can serve best seldom loses.
As Patrick Ness wrote in Monsters of Men: “Choices may be unbelievably hard but they’re never impossible. To say you have no choice is to release yourself from responsibility and that’s not how a person with integrity acts.”
