“I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let’s face it, friends make life a lot more fun.”
– Charles R. Swindoll
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Albert Camus was a French philosopher, author, dramatist, journalist, and political activist. At the age of 44, he received the 1957 Nobel Prize in Literature, making him the second-youngest recipient in history.
Of course, he had many friends. At one time, he wrote: “Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and just be my friend.”
In The Four Loves, British writer and theologian C.S. Lewis stated that friendship is unnecessary – just like philosophy and art. “It has no survival value,” he pointed out, “rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”
American journalist and author Jon Katz thinks he has learned anything about friendship. “It’s to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you,” he said. “Don’t walk away, don’t be distracted, don’t be too busy or tired, don’t take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff.”
Now, allow me to share a story on why friends are very important and how you should treat a friend.
One day, two good friends – let’s call them James and John – had a quarrel and James slapped John. John felt pain but said nothing and wrote on the sand: “Today my best friend slapped me.”
Two friends continued walking and found an oasis. They decided to swim in a wellspring and suddenly John started to sink but James saved him.
When John regained consciousness, he wrote on the stone: “Today my best friend saved my life.”
James, who slapped and saved his friend’s life, asked him: “When I hurt you, you wrote on the sand and now you are writing on the stone. Why?”
John replied, “When a friend hurts us, we should write it on the sand, so that the wind could erase it. But when a friend does something good for us, we must engrave it on the stone, so that the wind could not erase it.”
This view seems to be supported by Ulysses S. Grant. “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most,” the American president said. “I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.”
Baltasar Gracian also said, “True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island – to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson has another view: “The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship.”
How many friends should you have? To answer that question, let me tell you another story:
A student came to a teacher and asked him, “Master, how many friends should a person have – one or a lot?”
“Everything is very simple,” the teacher answered, “pick me that red apple from the highest branch.”
The student looked up and answered, “But it’s too high, Teacher! I can’t reach it.”
“Ask a friend, maybe he will help you,” the teacher replied.
The student called another student and stood on his shoulders.
“I still can’t reach it, Teacher,” said the disappointed student.
“Don’t you have more friends?” the teacher wondered.
The student asked more friends who started standing up on each other’s shoulders and backs grunting, trying to build a live pyramid. But the apple was too high, the pyramid crumbled and the student wasn’t able to pick the long apple.
Then the teacher called him back. “So, did you understand how many friends a person needs?” the teacher asked.
“I did, Teacher,” the student said, rubbing the injured sides, “a lot – so together we could solve any problem.”
“Yes,” the teacher answered, shaking his head in disappointment, “of course you need a lot of friends. So that among all of those friends there would be at least one smart person who would figure out to bring a ladder!”
To end, let me quote the words of Stieg Larsson in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: “Friendship — my definition — is built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don’t have trust, the friendship will crumble.”
