Who hasn’t heard of the whole generation gap debate? There’s a multitude of opinions and studies out there about the idiosyncrasies of each generation. However, I find many actually contradict each other so it’s become difficult to determine what to believe or what to dismiss as rubbish.
So what’s one of the best references? Nothing beats one’s own experiences. Here are mine dealing and working with individuals from different generations, including the experiences of some friends of my generation.
I’ve always worked with people from all age levels. All my assistants were younger than me. I’ve handled cross-departmental teams composed of individuals from various work functions and from all sorts of ages, either younger or older than me. I’ve had bosses who were old enough to be my parent, and one young enough to be my daughter (yes my dear Lenzy, that’s you).
When I was 24, I led a team with a member who I think was at least 15 years my senior. I remember clearly when one of his contemporaries mockingly remarked to me, “You mean to say (his friend’s name) reports to you?’’ It amazes me now to think how I was able to muster all the respect within me when I responded to him. While I fully understood where he was coming from, he could have asked the same question with less derision. I told myself that should I find myself in his shoes, I would ask the same question with all the respect I could muster.
Needless to say, I’ve had ample learning experiences dealing with people from different generations—some painful, some funny, and some even cringe-worthy (lol). But amidst all that were golden moments of breakthrough. That breakthrough is when you’re able to blend into a cocktail for success what both of you bring to the table. Those are winning moments that made my journey with them insightful, educational, and nothing short of remarkable.
Years ago I worked with a team of millennials and while the age difference was substantial, I believe we got along quite well. One of my then colleagues, Jeremiah, told me that despite our age gap, he saw me as “like one of us, just like a college friend.’’ That was out of the blue and in the middle of waiting for our dinner at a pop-up pasta place across our old office building. I remember it to this day because I was kinda struck (and touched!) by what he had said. It also made me happy because I felt the same way towards them.
Sure we had different work styles, values, and expectations that sometimes made me contemplate how different theirs were from mine. However, I found that by being more understanding and accepting of each other’s styles and preferences, as well as fostering a relationship of open communication and mutual respect, we were able to establish a close-knit relationship not only as colleagues but also as friends. I miss them to this day.
I believe what made it work was the “understanding and accepting of each other’s styles and preferences’’ because it wasn’t just me that was doing that, it was a mutual effort. It’s not about one generation trying to understand and making all the adjustments. I learned it works best when the effort is made from both sides.
I believe it comes naturally (and, unfortunately, as an expectation from many) for the older generation to adopt openness to adjust to the younger ones. But what gets me is that in many cases, there doesn’t seem to be a reciprocation. That’s where the problem arises because while Gen Xers may be willing to accept the idiosyncrasies of the younger generation, if the latter does not reciprocate, the chasm it creates just gets deeper and wider.
I have friends who have to deal with Gen Zers and our get-togethers are filled with a litany of frustration and challenges. I frequently hear “entitled, WIIFM, disregard for traditions, disdain for authority, bare minimum over best effort’’ and the list goes on. While it would be easy to succumb to all these generalizations, it would be to everyone’s interest to hold judgement and give it more thought.
Gen Zers are either in their last years in university or are in their early years in the workforce. If it’s the latter, more likely than not they were hired during the pandemic. My take is that most of their early forays into the workforce were spent within the comforts and solitude of their homes. This actually did them more harm than good.
You see, while they may have the fortune of becoming digital natives living most of their lives engaged in technology, more often than not this happens mostly in isolation. Best-selling author Cal Newport, known for his book ‘’Digital Minimalism” and the Deep Work Theory, himself stated in a CNBC interview that this generation has the “most difficulty in social, face-to-face interactions as they enter the workforce.’’
Newport said that for Gen Z, “human socializing is very, very hard” and “requires lots and lots of practice”. His findings revealed that Gen Zers “interact digitally in physical isolation… largely transporting their social existence from the real world into the digital.”
I find this especially true in interpersonal communication with Gen Zers. Some tend to avoid eye contact when conversing face-to-face. Granted, I haven’t met all Gen Zers to allow me to make such a generalization, but I’ve had such experiences, as well as other people I know. (Continued to part 2)
As a communications person, I’m very sensitive about non-verbals, and if someone talking to me has their eyes flitting elsewhere, it can come across as insincere to me. Making eye contact when conversing with someone is important in communication. It helps you read facial expressions that can give you hints how the other person feels about the matter at hand. Without eye contact, the conversation just doesn’t come across as genuine and doesn’t inspire a sense of trust towards the person you’re talking with.
Perhaps this could be attributed to Carl Newport’s research findings that more and more young people “are uncomfortable with human interaction because they haven’t practiced it.” But it can also be argued that being in their early to mid 20s, these young people are just not mature enough—and are still lacking in life and work experiences they can pull from—to allow them to successfully navigate workplace dynamics. As the latest addition to the workforce, they may lack the experience to practice office etiquette or behave professionally in the workplace.
MY SCENE is my take on issues and matters that have caught my attention. Hope you’ll be part of my scene from now on. Let me know your thoughts at adi.quisido88@gmail.com
