Soon, it will be Christmas. And the reason for the season is Jesus Christ, who was supposed to be born on December 25 (although most historians don’t agree with this as the 12 month of the year is very cold and there’s snow all over).
The reason why God the Father gave the world His son is because of love. As John 3:16 puts it: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”
That’s the gist of the Yuletide season: love. And love conquers all. It makes the world go ‘round. More importantly, love is a many-splendored thing, as the song puts it.
“When it comes to love, some people would say it is one of the most important human emotions,” wrote Kendra Cherry, an author and psychosocial rehabilitation specialist. “Love is a set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion, and commitment. It involves care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection, and trust.”
Unknowingly, there are seven types of love, according to Dr. Neel Burton, a psychiatrist and philosopher. In an article he wrote for Psychology Today, he identified them. Let’s take a closer look at each:
The first one is eros, the sexual or passionate love. “(It is) most akin to the modern construct of romantic love.” Next is philia, which means “friendship.” This is what platonic love is all about. It contains mutual respect and admiration and often lacks the complexities of romantic or sexual attraction.
Burton said that friendships founded on goodness “are associated not only with mutual benefit but also with companionship, dependability, and trust.”
Storge, often referred to as “familial love,” represents a form of philia that encompasses the affection shared between parents and their offspring. Following this is agape, characterized as “universal love,” which extends to the love felt for strangers, nature, or a divine entity.
Ludus denotes a playful or “uncommitted love.” This type of affection typically emerges in the early stages of relationships and resembles the honeymoon phase. As noted by Burton, ludus may include activities such as teasing, dancing, and more explicit forms of flirting, seduction, and intimate interactions.
Pragma is a kind of practical love founded on reason or duty and one’s longer-term interests. This is a type of love that allows for long-term commitment and healthy, enduring relationships.
Finally, there’s philautia, or “self-love.” As Rob Hwang, a psychologist, puts it: “This kind of love can be healthy or unhealthy. Loving oneself deeply can help a person access their heart more and extend more love to others as well.”
Love is inscrutable. Most people define it and yet love eludes explanation. Mark Twain said, “Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes – none knows whence – and cannot explain itself.”
“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies,” penned Aristotle. Rainer Maria Rilke pointed out, “Love consists of this: two solitudes that meet, protect and greet each other.”
In A Walk to Remember, Nicholas Sparks wrote, “Love is like the wind, you can’t see it, but you can feel it.” To which Robert A. Heinlein added, “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”
“Love is the voice under all silences, the hope which has no opposite in fear; the strength so strong mere force is feebleness: the truth more first than sun, more last than star,” penned E. E. Cummings.
“Love,” said Alexander Smith, “is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition.” Ray Bradbury noted, “Love is the answer to everything. It’s the only reason to do anything.”
There are those who can’t help but poke fun at the subject. H.L. Mencken said, “Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.” Elizabeth Barrett Browning surmised, “Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”
Here are more definitions of love. To John Lennon, “Love is a promise; love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear.” Lao Tzu said, “Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart, and the senses.”
Martial artist Bruce Lee compared love to friendship caught on a fire. “In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering,” he explained. “As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.”
Hollywood actor Brad Pitt challenged everyone if they knew that love is real? He answers, “It’s when someone else’s interest trumps your own. I like to put it that way: trumps your own. Love of somebody else — of family, of your kids — becomes the most important, most worthwhile thing in your life. It’s what you foster and protect.”
Johnny Depp, another Hollywood heartthrob, advises, “If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.”
From the past, we have Vincent van Gogh who said, “Love always brings difficulties, that is true, but the good side of it is that it gives energy.” And Pablo Picasso has this to say: “Love is the greatest refreshment in life.”
To end this column, allow me to quote the words of Pablo Neruda: “I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”
Yes, give love this Christmas season!
