“Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offence up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love.”—Gary Chapman
***
Christmas stands out as the most significant celebration of the year, as it is a time when many of us gather with our loved ones. This season is characterized by heartfelt reunions.
However, I believe that the occasion becomes even more remarkable when we extend forgiveness to those who have wronged us. The act of forgiving is, in my view, the most meaningful gift one can offer this Christmas.
“Jesus is the reason for this season,” so goes a popular saying. Well, the reason why the Father sent His Son into this world is to save the sinners. Jesus may have been born on Christmas, but He died for the forgiveness of our sins.
If God can forgive all our transgressions, why can’t we do it? “Jesus died on a cross so that we could all experience forgiveness from God,” said the website of Mercy Health. “God wants us to live a life of forgiveness, and He gave us that gift through Jesus. By choosing to forgive, we are embracing a gift greater than anything that could be put under the tree this season.”
If we keep our grudges toward another person, we are actually destroying ourselves. “Holding anger is a poison,” someone said. “It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.”
Or to quote the words of Louis B. Smedes, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
If you don’t forgive someone, there is always that thing in your heart that seems to bother you every now and then.
Listen to what Joel Osteen said, “If you feel ‘stuck’ today, you may want to examine what you’re holding on to. Be willing to let go of past disappointments by choosing forgiveness. Who hurt you? Who wronged you? Release it to God.
“Do you need to forgive yourself? Do you need to receive God’s forgiveness? Let go of the past so you can overcome disappointments and experience the bright future God has in store for you. There is freedom in forgiving.”
Oftentimes, we hear someone saying, “Forgive and forget.” This may have been taken from Jeremiah 31:34 which stated: “I will forgive their iniquity, and their sins I will remember no more” (New King James Version).
But forgiveness does not mean forgetting. The Revised English Bible said it this way: “And their sin I shall call to mind more.” Frankly speaking, the Bible didn’t say, “Forgive and forget.”
As Bonita Joyner Shields, an assistant editor of the Adventist Review, puts it: “God does not remember our sins because He chooses not to remember them; He chooses not to bring them to mind. Remembering or not remembering is a decision of the will.”
She further wrote: “In our forgiveness, we don’t forget the wound/wrong inflicted on us. And even though forgetfulness is human, I don’t believe we are expected to forget. But once we have confronted the wrong and worked through the process of forgiveness, we can choose not to bring it to mind as well.”
How many times should you forgive? In Matthew 18:22-21, Peter came to Jesus and asked Him: “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus looked at Peter closely and told him bluntly. “I tell you, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy-seven times.”
There was this missionary in one of the islands in the country who was caught by surprise when a woman entered his house unannounced. She was carrying a handful of sand, which was still dripping water.
“Do you know what this is,” she asked. To which the missionary answered, “It looks like sand.”
The woman asked again, “Do you know why I brought it here?” The missionary was bewildered, “No, I can’t imagine why.”
The woman replied, “Well, there are my sins. My sins which are as countless as the sands of the sea. How can I obtain forgiveness for all of them?”
The missionary told her: “You got that sand down by the shore, did you? Well, take it back there and pile up a heaping mound of sand. Then sit back and watch the waves come in and wash the pile slowly but surely and completely away. That is how God’s forgiveness works. His mercy is as big as the ocean. Be truly sorry and the Lord will forgive.”
Let me end today’s column, with this another anecdote:
Satan was complaining to the Lord, “You’re unfair. So many sinners do wrong, and you take them back. In fact, some came back half a dozen times and you always welcome them. I make one big mistake, and you condemn me forever. It is not fair.”
The Lord replied, “Did you ever ask for forgiveness or repent?”
