“Marriage: If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.”—F. Burton Howard
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Three years ago, I attended a golden wedding anniversary celebration. Initially, I had little interest in attending the event; however, my friend, who happens to be the grandson of the couple, persuaded me to accompany him. He is someone who only extends invitations for occasions of genuine significance. With no other commitments at that moment, I chose to join him.
Upon arriving at the church, I encountered several of my friend’s family members, relatives, and acquaintances. As the ceremony commenced, a hush fell over the attendees. Some family members were visibly emotional, shedding tears.
During the ceremony, one grandson rose from his seat, approached the podium, and performed the poignant song by Kenny Rogers. “I can’t remember when you weren’t there, when I didn’t care for anyone but you. I swear, we’ve been through everything there is. Can’t imagine anything we’ve missed, can’t imagine anything the two of us can’t do.”
Then, he belted out: “Through the years, you’ve never let me down. You turned my life around, the sweetest days I’ve found, I’ve found with you. Through the years, I’ve never been afraid. I’ve loved the life we’ve made. And I’m so glad I’ve stayed right here with you through the years.”
This particular scenario – which seemed to be straight from a movie – came flashing into my mind as I read the story below, which was forwarded to me by a friend through email. Read it and ponder:
During the renovation of a house in Japan, someone breaks open the walls. (For the information of the uninformed, Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between the wooden walls.)
Upon tearing down the walls, he found a lizard stuck there because a nail from outside was hammered into one of its feet! He sees this, feels pity, and at the same time curious, because it was nailed down 10 years ago when the house was first built!
The lizard survived in such a position in a dark wall partition for 10 years without moving! Indeed, it is impossible and mind-boggling! He keeps wondering how this lizard survived for 10 years without moving a single step, since its foot was nailed!
He stopped his work momentarily and observed the lizard, what it had been doing, and what and how it had been eating! Later, out of nowhere appears another lizard, with food in its mouth, suddenly feeding the stuck lizard.
He was deeply touched and stunned at such a scene! Imagine? The other lizard has been doing that untiringly for 10 long years, without giving up hope! Pause for a moment and think: Will you do that to your partner?
If lizards are capable of it, why are human beings not? Being united in marriage with the one you love is the most wonderful experience you can have. You are connected to that individual, and they are connected to you.
Marriage ought to be a lifelong commitment. Seek out the partner who is right for you. Women should not choose to marry a man solely based on his attractiveness, wealth, or parental pressure. The same applies to men; he should look for the woman who is right for him.
Choose to marry the person whom you will continue to love, even upon waking up in the morning and discovering that they may not appear as attractive as you once thought. “Happy marriages,” said Tom Mullen, “begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.”
Once you’re married to the person whom you thought is the right one for you, accept him or her, including the bad traits and habits. Josh McDowell reminds, “What you are as a single person, you will be as a married person, only to a greater degree. Any negative character trait will be intensified in a marriage relationship, because you will feel free to let your guard down – that person has committed himself (herself) to you and you no longer have to worry about scaring him (her) off.”
Marriage is not always a bed of roses. Two people from different backgrounds usually clash but that’s alright. Opposites attract each other, right? “Men marry women with the hope they will never change,” commented Albert Einstein. “Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably, they are both disappointed.”
Ogden Nash tells: “Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets.” However, he offers some advice: “To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong admit it; whenever you’re right shut up.”
Yes, there are marriages made in heaven – because from the beginning, God is in the midst of the union. Marriage, someone once said, is always a triangle: man, woman, and God.
With that, marriage is bound to be forever. And husband and wife will live happily ever after. The Kenny Rogers song said it well: “I can’t remember what I used to do. Who I trusted whom, I listened to before. I swear you’ve taught me everything I know. Can’t imagine needing someone so but through the years it seems to me I need you more and more.”
Do you want to stay married to your partner forever? Learn wisdom from the words of Bon Jovi’s spouse: “My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she is coming with me.”
Sounds like good advice.
