“By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”—Socrates
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Academy award-winning actress Goldie Hawn and action actor Kurt Russell have been together for more than four decades and share a blended family. Despite their long relationship, the two Hollywood stars have chosen not to marry.
Hawn, who received a supporting Oscar trophy for Cactus Flower, has mentioned that while they have contemplated marriage, they ultimately opted against it.
“A lasting relationship is not defined by marriage,” Goldie said in an interview with Porter magazine in 2015, as reported by E! News. “It’s about compatibility and communication. And you both need to want it to work. Being together, two pillars holding up the house and the roof, and being different, not having to agree on everything, learning how to deal with not agreeing. Everything’s a choice.”
Russell, who appeared in such movies as Escape from New York and Silkwood, has the same view. In a 2023 interview with Variety, the actor was quoted as saying, “We constantly got asked, ‘When are you going to get married? Why aren’t you married?’ And we were like, ‘Why does anybody care about that?’”
Filipinos have a strong affinity for all things American. It appears they are adopting similar trends. Many Filipinos today are opting to cohabit rather than formalize their relationship through marriage.
This was confirmed by a recent report from the Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA). In 2023, there were 414,213 marriages officially recorded, reflecting a 7.8% decrease from the 449,428 weddings documented in the previous year.
The Commission on Population and Development (CPD), which conducted an analysis of the data, indicated that the reduction in marriage rates is attributed to an increasing number of couples choosing to live together without entering into marriage.
The decrease in formal marriages is reflected in the increasing occurrence of cohabitation arrangements. As reported by the 2022 National Demographic and Health Survey (NDHS), the percentage of women aged 15 to 49 who were cohabiting or living with their partners in a manner similar to marriage rose fourfold over a span of thirty years, increasing from a mere 5% in 1993 to 19% in 2022.
“The decline in marriages reflects changing realities as families of today come in many forms,” Undersecretary Lisa Grace S. Bersales, CPD executive director. “While we uphold marriage as a sacred institution, we must also protect couples who choose alternative arrangements and ensure the welfare of every individual, ensuring no family is left behind in our nation’s development,” she added.
It was God Himself who initiated the first marriage and sanctified it! The Holy Bible stated that: “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
People get married because of love. Pablo Neruda how to love a person: “I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you directly without problems or pride: I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love, except in this form in which I am not nor are you, so close that your hand upon my chest is mine, so close that your eyes close with my dreams.”
But how will a man and a woman stay together throughout their lives?
In Covenant Marriage, Fred Lowery gives us this pledge for both: “I will always love you. After God, you will always be my first priority. I am forever committed to this relationship and will always work on this marriage. I will always forgive you and work through conflicts. I will always be faithful to you. I will always be truthful with you. I will always be there for you.”
In Serving Love, couple Gary and Barbara Roseberg agreed that no matter what happens, they will love each other. The two wrote: “If things are better for us, I will love you. If things get worse, I will love you. If we get rich beyond our wildest imagination, I will love you. If we grow poorer and don’t own much, I will love you. If you get sick, I will love you. If you remain healthy, I will love you. In fact, no matter what happens, I will always love you.”
Husband, how will you express your love to your beloved?
Stuart Scott, author of The Exemplary Husband, lists: “Prefer her over yourself. Show interest in her interests. Encourage her with words of appreciation. Brighten her day with an unexpected card, note, flowers, or gift. Listen with interest to her concerns while showing compassion. Help her when she looks as if she needs it (don’t wait to be asked?) Do chivalrous things to let her know how special she is to you. Give her nonsexual affection. Seek to please and satisfy her during sexual intimacy. Pray with her and lead her spiritually.”
On the other side of the coin, here’s what a wife can do to her husband, according to Martha Peace, the woman behind The Excellent Wife: “Pray for him daily. Speak words of kindness. Give him an unexpected gift. Thank him for something good he has done. Praise him for one of his good character qualities. Be humble enough to confess your own failures. Reaffirm your commitment to him. Initiate a special time of lovemaking with him. Spend time with him doing something he likes to do. Obey God and let your husband see Christ in you.”
The reason today’s generation is hesitant to say “I do” is due to their fear of commitment. Live-in has become the standard practice, as it allows individuals to part ways easily if infidelity occurs or if love fades away.
Given that divorce is not yet legal in the country, many prefer not to be bound to someone who no longer appreciates them. Why remain in a relationship when love has gone?
