“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”—Helen Keller
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“No man ought to lay a cross upon himself, or to adopt tribulation; but if a cross or tribulation comes upon him, let him suffer it patiently, and know that it is good and profitable for him,” said Martin Luther.
This thought occurred to me while I was perusing an email that a friend had forwarded to me. I am uncertain of the author of the story below, but I believe it imparts valuable lessons that could benefit anyone.
A daughter expressed to her father her frustrations about the hardships of her life. She felt overwhelmed and contemplated giving up. Exhausted from the constant battles and challenges, it appeared that each time she resolved one issue, another would emerge.
Her father, who was a chef, took her into his kitchen. He filled three pots with water and set each one on high heat. Once the water reached a boil, he placed a carrot in the first pot, an egg in the second, and a bag of herbal tea in the third, adding a teaspoon of sugar.
In approximately 20 minutes, he switched off the burners. He retrieved the carrot and placed it in a bowl. He then took out the egg and set it in a bowl as well. Following this, he ladled the tea into a bowl. Turning to his daughter, he inquired, “What do you observe?” The daughter responded, “A carrot, an egg, and tea.”
The father drew her closer and encouraged her to feel the carrot. She complied and remarked that it was soft. He then prompted her to take the egg and break it. After peeling it, she noted that it had transformed into a hard-boiled state.
Finally, he invited her to sip the tea. She smiled as she inhaled its aroma and savored its sweetness. Then she pondered, “What lesson are you trying to convey, Papa?”
Her father clarified that the carrot, egg, and tea had all encountered the same challenge – boiling water – yet each responded in a distinct manner. The carrot entered strong, hard, and unyielding.
However, after being immersed in the boiling water, it softened and became feeble. The egg, which had been delicate, was protected by its thin outer shell that safeguarded its liquid center. Yet, in the boiling water, it solidified. Conversely, the tea and sugar were exceptional – they transformed the water.
“Which are you?” the father asked his daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or tea and sugar?”
Now applying this in your current situation: Do pain and hardship lead you to wither and lose your strength? Or do you begin with a flexible heart, only to become rigid and unyielding following a loss, a breakup, a separation, or a job termination?
Or, are you akin to the tea and sugar that transform the boiling water – the source of your suffering? If you resemble tea and sugar, during the most challenging times, you improve and enhance the environment around you.
Edmund Burke was right when he said, “He that struggles with us strengthens our nerves, and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper.” To which Max Lerner added, “The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.”
Some people consider adversity an enemy. An unknown author penned these words: “If you have some enemies, you are to be congratulated, for no man ever amounted to much without arousing jealousies and creating enemies. Your enemies are a very valuable asset as long as you refrain from striking back at them, because they keep you on the alert when you might become lazy.” Dr. Jose Rizal puts it in a different perspective: “We need criticism to keep us awake.”
To others, adversity is sort of a friend. Norman Vincent Peale said it succinctly: “The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.” In Snow on the Wind, Hugh Miller wrote: “Problems are only opportunities with thorns on them.”
Leslie Grossman stated, “When you’re feeling your worst, that’s when you get to know yourself the best.” In his Literary Essays, James Russell Lowell pointed out, “Mishaps are like knives that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or the handle.”
There is a legend about a German nobleman who had a castle in the hills along the Rhine. Being a music lover, he stretched some wires between the towers of his castle with the hope that the winds might vibrate the wires and make music. But the gentle Rhineland breezes produced no sounds.
Then one night a great thunderstorm swept up the valley. Furious winds beat against the castle. Even the mountain roundabout seemed to shake. The baron opened a sheltered window to watch the progress of the storm and – to his astonishment! – he heard the trains of beautiful music. Now those wires were humming like guitar strings. It had required a windstorm to bring out the music!
The same is true with our lives. “God uses suffering as a whetstone, to make men sharp with,” Henry Ward Beecher reminds.
Joni Eareckson Tada, who is a quadriplegic, also stated, “Adversity, which looks and feels like such a determined enemy, can become a valuable ally. Only you can decide which it will be.”
