“Our lives are a sum total of the choices we have made.”–Wayne Dyer
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Representative Mark Cojuangco of the Second District of Pangasinan has ignited a fervent discussion online following his response to social media posts that depicted the destruction caused by Typhoon Tino, claiming that people residing in flood-prone regions “always have a choice.”
It all started when Cojuangco made a comment on a viral video showcasing families displaced in a flooded community. “Why build a residence in a flood plain? It is prone to disasters,” the legislator said in Tagalog.
He surmised the calamity could have been averted with more prudent housing choices. This remark prompted immediate backlash from online users who labeled him as being disconnected from the difficulties faced by underprivileged Filipinos.
“Not everyone can afford to live in elevated areas and subdivisions. They had no option!” one individual remarked.
Despite this, the congressman stood firm in his stance. “There is always a choice,” Cojuangco declared.
Life has been defined as the sum total of all a person’s choices. From the cradle to grave, we are faced with many important decisions. Life, so goes a popular saying, is what we make it. In other words, you are what you are from the decisions you have made.
Dr. Charles Wood, longtime head of the psychology department at Baylor University, used to tell his students: “There are three decisions each person must make for himself – the choice of a profession, of a life’s mate, and of a religious faith. Parents and friends will, at times, try to decide one of these things for you, but if you are to be happy and successful in life, they are decisions you alone can make.”
Concerning our choices, Joseph Epstein wrote: “We do not choose to be born. We do not choose our parents. We do not choose our historical epic, or the country of our birth, or the immediate circumstances of our upbringing. We do not, most of us, choose to die; nor do we choose the time and conditions of our death.”
Epstein added: “But within all this realm of choicelessness, we do choose how we shall live: courageously or in cowardice, honorably or dishonorably, with purpose or adrift. We decide what is important and what is trivial in life. We decide that what makes us significant is either what we do or what we refuse to do.”
He ended his explanation with these words: “But no matter how indifferent the universe may be to our choices and decisions, these choices and decisions are ours to make. We decide. We choose. And as we decide and choose, so are our lives formed.”
Now, I would like to recount a tale about seven friends. A week prior to their college graduation, they visited their professor’s office to have a discussion with him. “Sir,” one of them inquired, “is it okay for us to gather at your residence for a reunion eight years from now?”
The professor, taken aback, nonetheless responded positively. Years went by, and the seven friends achieved remarkable success in their respective careers. Jonathan is currently leading his own business firm in Makati, Philippines. Rudy has become a highly esteemed forester employed by a United Nations agency in Rome, Italy. Gary enjoys a thriving career as a consultant in Bangkok, Thailand. Anselmo has established himself as a distinguished physician in Cebu City.
The remaining three—Carlos, Rodel, and James—are all engineers working in various locations around the globe: Saudi Arabia, Singapore, and Canada, respectively.
Eight years later, all seven were reunited at their professor’s home. There was an abundance of conversation, and soon, the dialogue shifted to grievances regarding stress in their work and personal lives.
Offering his guests coffee, the professor proceeded to the kitchen and came back with a large pot of coffee along with a variety of cups – porcelain, plastic, glass, some appearing plain while others were luxurious and exquisite, inviting them to serve themselves with hot coffee.
Once all seven friends had a cup of coffee in their hands, the professor told them: “If you observed, all the attractive, expensive cups were chosen, leaving only the plain and inexpensive ones. It is quite natural for you to desire the best for yourselves. This tendency is the root of your issues and stress. What you truly sought was coffee, not the cup, yet you deliberately opted for the finer cups and are now coveting each other’s selections.”
The professor further explained: “Now, if we consider life as coffee, then jobs, money, and social status represent the cups. They merely serve as vessels to hold and contain life, but they do not alter the essence of life itself. At times, by focusing solely on the cup, we neglect to appreciate the coffee it holds.”
Life is a matter of choice. Let me end today’s column with this anecdote:
In ancient times, a king had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but no one did anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a farmer came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the farmer laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the farmer picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.
The farmer learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
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