“Go for it, while you can. I know you have it in you. And I can’t promise you’ll get everything you want, but I can promise nothing will change if you don’t try.”
― J.M. Darhower, Sempre
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When I was still in college, there was a movie I saw entitled The Promise, described as “a haunting story of love and betrayal.”
Two university students, one hailing from an affluent family (played by Stephen Collins) and the other from a less fortunate background (portrayed by Kathleen Quinlan), choose to run away together. To make the long story short, they got married.
And it so happens that they become involved in a catastrophic car accident that results in significant facial disfigurement for the woman. Her mother-in-law proposes to cover the costs of the required surgery, but only on the condition that the young woman leaves her husband—the woman’s son—and remains out of her life indefinitely.
The subsequent events unfold in a manner that none of them anticipated.
“Promises represent a distinctly human method of structuring the future, rendering it as predictable and dependable as humanly feasible,” said Hannah Arendt.
“The promise made was an obligation of the past; the broken word is an obligation of the present,” Niccolo Machiavelli also said.
Those two statements underscore the intricacies of promises, highlighting both their influence and the accountability that accompanies their creation. Whether they serve as a source of inspiration or a warning, they remind us of the significance our words hold in our connections and commitments.
There are many reasons why people make promises. When individuals keep their promises, they nurture trust in their relationships. Trust is the foundation of any strong connection, whether with friends, family, or colleagues. Each promise kept acts as a brick in the bridge of trust, reinforcing the bond between individuals. Conversely, breaking promises can lead to disappointment and disillusionment, weakening these vital connections.
Keeping promises also reflects a person’s integrity and accountability. It shows that one values their word and respects the commitments made to others. This behavior not only enhances self-respect but also builds a reputation for reliability. People who consistently keep their promises are often viewed as trustworthy and dependable, traits that are highly valued in both personal and professional circles.
Promises, once fulfilled, can contribute to emotional security for both the promise-maker and the recipient. When someone keeps a promise, it reassures others that they matter and that their feelings are important. This emotional security fosters deeper connections and allows individuals to express themselves openly without fear of judgment.
There are also professional implications if you keep your promise. When colleagues honor their commitments, it cultivates a climate of trust and respect, enhancing overall productivity and morale. On the other hand, failing to keep promises can lead to distrust, diminishing teamwork and fragmenting professional relationships.
Finally, some research indicates that keeping promises can positively affect one’s mood and sense of self-worth. When individuals fulfill their commitments, it activates reward regions in the brain, leading to feelings of satisfaction and accomplishment.
Recently, while browsing through my Facebook feed, I encountered the story of Ben Moser and his friend Mary Lapkowicz. It was a heartfelt narrative about friendship and loyalty.
Ben, a quarterback at Susquehanna High School in Pennsylvania, fulfilled a promise he made in the fourth grade. Ben had vowed to take his friend Mary, who has Down syndrome, to prom.
During their elementary school years, Ben and Mary shared a close friendship, with Ben being known for his inclusive nature and his protective attitude towards Mary.
Although they attended different high schools later on, they reconnected at a football game, where Ben was reminded of the promise he had made long ago.
With a strong determination to keep his word, Ben surprised Mary with a promposal, arriving with balloons and asking her to be his date. On the night of the prom, the two looked magnificent together—Ben donned a suit with a lavender tie that complemented Mary’s stunning lavender dress.
Their former teacher, who had observed their early friendship, joined them for photographs, adding to the specialness of the evening.
The narrative swiftly attracted national attention, as people commended it for its themes of inclusion, kindness, and the significance of honoring commitments. Ben’s straightforward yet profound act demonstrated how gestures of friendship and compassion can create a lasting impression. His dedication to Mary underscored the essence of genuine friendship and the strength of fulfilling one’s promises.
To conclude today’s column, I would like to share a quote from Paul Coelho. In The Devil and Miss Prym, he wrote:
“In the first place, you shouldn’t believe in promises. The world is full of them: the promises of riches, of eternal salvation, of infinite love. Some people think they can promise anything, others accept whatever seems to guarantee better days ahead, as, I suspect is your case. Those who make promises they don’t keep end up powerless and frustrated, and exactly the fate awaits those who believe promises.”
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