“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.”—Dave Meurer
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Opting to marry in January is a choice imbued with considerable significance and symbolism. January, named after the Roman deity Janus, represents beginnings, transitions, and fresh opportunities. It is frequently regarded as a period of renewal and revitalization, rendering January an advantageous month for couples to embark on a new chapter in their lives through matrimony.
Marriage is one of the first institutions that God has given us. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh,” Genesis 2:24 recorded.
How will a man and a woman stay together throughout their lives? In Covenant Marriage, Fred Lowery gives us this pledge for both: “I will always love you. After God, you will always be my first priority. I am forever committed to this relationship are will always work on this marriage. I will always forgive you and work through conflicts. I will always be faithful to you. I will always be truthful to you. I will always be there for you.”
In Serving Love, couple Gary and Barbara Roseberg agreed that no matter what happens, they will love each other. The two wrote: “If things are better for us, I will love you. If things get worse, I will love you. If we get rich beyond our wildest imagination, I will love you. If we grow poorer and don’t own much, I will love you. If you get sick, I will love you. If you remain healthy, I will love you. In fact, no matter what happens, I will always love you.”
Husband, how will you express your love to your beloved? Stuart Scott, author of The Exemplary Husband, lists: “Prefer her over yourself. Show interest in her interests. Encourage her with words of appreciation. Brighten her day with an unexpected card, note, flowers, or gift.
“Listen with interest to her concerns while showing compassion. Help her when she looks as if she needs it (don’t wait to be asked!). Do chivalrous things to let her know how special she is to you. Give her nonsexual affection. Seek to please and satisfy her during sexual intimacy. Pray with her and lead her spiritually.”
On the other side of the coin, here’s what a wife can do to her husband, according to Martha Peace, the woman behind The Excellent Wife: “Pray for him daily. Speak words of kindness. Give him an unexpected gift. Thank him for something good he has done. Praise him for one of his good character qualities.
“Be humble enough to confess your own failures. Reaffirm your commitment to him. Initiate a special time of lovemaking with him. Spend time with him doing something he likes to do. Obey God and let your husband see Christ in you.”
Yes, successful marriage is always a triangle: husband, wife, and God. Allow me to share this story related by Robert J. Morgan in his book, From This Verse (365 Inspiring Stories About the Power of God’s Word:
Renouncing her lavish lifestyle, beautiful Mary Bosanquet opened an orphanage for London’s street children; and for years she had little time to think of marriage. I had no other thought but devoting myself to God in a single life; only I sometimes thought, were I to be married to Mr. Fletcher, would he not be a help to my soul.
Mary was referring to John Fletcher, well-known Christian leader and close friend of John Wesley. And so it happened. On November 12, 1781, to the delight of their friends, the two got married. Mary was over forty years old at the time; John was ten years her senior.
Returning from the wedding, the groom read Ephesians 5:25, telling their assembled friends. “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church. My God, what a task! Help me friends, by your prayers to fulfill it. As Christ loved the church! He laid aside His glory for her! O my God, none is able to fulfill this without Thine almighty aid.”
He read the following words: “Wives, submit to your own husbands.” Mary piped in, “… as unto the Lord,” and Fletcher responded. “Well, my dear, only in the Lord. And if ever I wish you to do anything otherwise, resist me with all your might.”
Sometime later, this entry appears in Mary’s journal: I have such a husband as is in everything suited me. He bears all my faults and failings, in a manner which continually reminds me of that word, “Love your wives as Christ loved the Church.” He is in every sense the man my highest reason chooses to obey.
In a letter John wrote to one of his friends, he penned: I was afraid at first to say much of the matter, for new-married people do not, at first, know each other; but having now lived fourteen months in my new state, I can tell you, Providence has reserved a prize for me, and that my wife is far better to me than the church to Christ.
No matter how much you love each other, conflict is almost always bound to happen. Best-selling author Charles Swindoll said that when he got married, he committed himself to the marriage for life “and to work to solve all problems that arise.”
In Night Light, Dr. James and Shirley Dobson give some valuable tips: “Change what can be altered. Explain what can be understood. Teach what can be learned. Revise what can be improved. Negotiate what is open to compromise. Accept the rest.”
“Marriage is not for a moment; it is for a lifetime,” reminded Gina Cerminara. “It requires long and serious preparation. It is not leaped into but entered with solemn steps of deliberation.
“For one of the most intimate and difficult of human relationships is that of marriage. Infinitely rewarding at its best, unspeakably oppressive at its worst, marriage offers the uttermost extremes of human happiness and human bondage – with all the lesser degrees of felicity and restraint in between.”
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