Dr. Jose P. Rizal, recognized as the national hero of the country, once remarked: “We need criticism to keep us awake.”
However, when offering criticism, be sure you know who you are putting in the light. There was a prominent photographer from New York who attended a gathering of socialites. As he entered, the hostess remarked, “Oh, I admire your photographs; you must possess an extraordinary camera!”
The photographer chose not to respond. After enjoying dinner, as he was leaving, he said to the hostess, “I truly appreciated the meal; you must have a remarkable stove!”
“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do.” That’s a reminder from Dale Carnegie, an American writer and developer of famous courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, and public speaking.
To criticize means, according to my dictionary, is “to find fault with” or “to point out the faults of.” But criticism also means “to consider the merits and demerits of and judge accordingly.”
The usually unflappable Winston Churchill could handle anything; he endured the chaos and terror of World War II without losing his cool. But at least one event in his life had a humbling effect: the day that Lady Nancy Astor became the first woman to sit in the British House of Commons.
At one point, the two were staying with Churchill’s cousin, the Duke of Marlborough, at Blenheim Palace. During the dinner, Lady Astor told the British prime minister: “Winston, if I were your wife, I’d put poison in your coffee.” He looked her straight to the eyes and remarked, “Nancy, if I were your husband, I’d drink it.”
However, there exists a Filipino adaptation of this scenario. At a gathering, a woman addressed a young man who had consumed an excessive amount of alcohol. “You are intoxicated,” she remarked.
The young man slurred his words but still managed to respond, “Tomorrow, I will be sober, but you will continue to be ugly!”
Their verbal exchange may be humorous but consider how you would feel if you were on the receiving end of such hurtful remarks. What if someone were to say any of the following: “Your work is so poor it would embarrass a first grader” (implying you lack competence) or “Your performance is mindless” (another way of indicating it is uninteresting).
Some individuals criticize others simply because the recipient excels beyond their own capabilities. In the film, Bituing Walang Ningning, the renowned singer Cherrie Gil remarked to the rising star Sharon Cuneta, “You’re nothing but a second rate, trying hard copycat.”
“What people say about us is never quite true; but it is never quite false, either; they always miss the bull’s-eye, but they rarely fail to hit the target,” Sydney Harris once said. On his 90th birthday, American president Herbert Hoover said, “Criticism is no doubt good for the soul but we must beware that it does not upset our confidence in ourselves.”
There are two sides of criticism: bad or good. As Donald H. Rumsfeld, former US Secretary of Defense, puts it: “If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much.”
However, take heed of your critics. Take the case of Samuel L. Jackson. The award-winning Hollywood actor no longer loses his cool when playing golf, thanks to one critic. “One day, I did get angry with myself and threw a club,” he recalled. “My caddie told me, ‘You’re not good enough to get mad.’”
A fair lady once wrote to an author if he accepts comments. What does she actually mean if he can live with criticisms? “Sure, I acknowledge both good and bad comments,” the author replied. “The good comments tell me that I am on the right track. The bad comments are my gauge to strive better. In other words, what I am doing is not good enough.”
The trouble with most people is that they would rather be ruined by praise than saved with criticism. O.A. Battista said, “One of the surest marks of good character is a man’s ability to accept personal criticism without malice to the one who gives it.”
What does the Bible say about being a critic? It said, “Be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath.” Here’s a tip from Henry Ward Beecher: “We should not judge people by their peak of excellence; but by the distance they have travelled from the point where they started.”
In our daily activities, we tend to criticize others because it’s 100 times easier to do so than to praise someone. “It is much easier to be critical than to be correct,” Benjamin Disraeli surmises.
“Lots of faults we think we see in others are simply the ones we expect to find there because we have them,” Frank A. Clark contends.
One of the surest marks of good character is a man’s ability to accept personal criticism without malice to the one who gives it. A woman at a mall was looking at the ice cream. Another woman came up behind her and grabbed hold of her hand. “Get away from there. You don’t need that. You’re already overweight.”
The startled woman turned around to face her critic. The woman who had approached her realized she had confused this woman with a friend. The woman gained her composure and responded to her critical assailant with these words: “You mean you have a friend!?!”
Lord Alfred Tennyson advises: “No man ever got very high by pulling other people down. The intelligent merchant does not knock on his competitors. The sensible worker does not work with those who work with him. Don’t knock on your friends. Don’t knock on your enemies. Don’t knock yourself.”
