THINK ON THESE: The mingled secret of life rediscovered

“Sing the song that only you can sing, write the book that only you can write, build the product that only you can build… live the life that only you can live.” – Naval Ravikant

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The world is full of two kinds of people: the givers and the takers. The takers eat well – but the givers sleep well. “We make a living by what we give; we make a life by what we give,” Duane Hulse once said.

This brings us to the subject of generosity, or the habit of giving. Often equated with charity as a virtue, generosity is widely accepted in society as a desirable habit. In times of natural disaster (like typhoons, flash floods, and earthquakes), relief efforts are frequently provided, voluntarily, by individuals or groups acting unilaterally in making gifts of time, resources, goods, and money, among others.

Generosity can also be spending time, money, or labor, for others, without being rewarded in return. More often than not, the term generosity often goes hand-in-hand with charity, and is a guiding principle for many registered charities, foundations, and non-profit organizations.

“Generosity is the flower of justice,” wrote American author Nathaniel Hawthorne. And Kahlil Gibran stated, “Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need.”

However, it’s hard for a person to be generous when he is not satisfied with what he has. Generosity rises out of contentment, and that doesn’t come with acquiring more. American millionaire John D. Rockefeller once admitted, “I have made millions, but they have brought me no happiness.” Yes, money cannot buy everything, including happiness.

And when it comes to money, you can’t win. Inspirational speaker and author John C. Maxwell points this out: “If you focus on making it, you’re materialistic. If you try to but don’t make any, you’re a loser. If you make a lot and keep it, you’re a miser. If you make it and spend it, you’re a spendthrift. If you don’t care about making any, you’re unambitious. If you make a lot and still have it when you die, you’re a fool – for trying to take it with you.”

The only way you can manage money is to hold it loosely – and be generous with it to accomplish things of value. “Money is a wonderful servant but a terrible master,” E. Stanley Jones reminds. “If it gets on top and you get under it, you will become its slave.”

But despite this warning, people still want to acquire more wealth. Author Richard Foster writes, “Owning things is an obsession in our culture. If we own it, we feel we can control it; and if we can control it, we feel it will give us more pleasure. The idea is an illusion.”

There is more pleasure in giving. In 1889, millionaire industrialist Andrew Carnegie wrote an essay called Gospel of Wealth. In it, he said that the life of a wealthy person should have two periods: a time of acquiring wealth and one of redistributing it. The only way to maintain an attitude of generosity is to make it your habit to give your three T’s – time, treasure and talent.

“No person was ever honored for what he received,” Calvin Coolidge said. “Honor has been the reward for what he gave.” John Caspar Lavater also said, “The generous who is always just, and the just who is always generous, may, unannounced, approach the throne of heaven.”

Some people say they can only be generous to others, if they are already rich. But studies have shown that if you’re not generous with little, you won’t suddenly change if you become wealthy. Harold Nye puts it this way: “If you are not generous with a meager income, you will never be generous with abundance.”

More often than, people who give expect something in return. Someone said, “I have given him the shirt off my back and now look at what he has done to me.” Another one complained, “I’ve given that person the best years of my life and look what I get in return.”

“True giving is done without the slightest trace of expecting to receive,” Alice R. Pratt said. Is it only in giving that we ever receive?” Perhaps in giving of oneself, which she calls as “the interwoven secret of life,” then there is enough taken away to have room to receive.

We think of a philanthropist as someone who donates big sums of money, yet the word is derived from two Greek words: philos (loving) and anthropos (man): loving man. “All of us are capable of being philanthropists,” commented Edward Lindsey. “We can give of ourselves.”

One day, a rich man complained to his friend. “People don’t like me,” he said. “They say I’m selfish and stingy. And yet in my last will and testament, I have donated all that I won to a charitable institution.”

Hearing his explanation, the friend replied, “Well, maybe the story of the cow and the pig has a lesson for you. The pig came to the cow and complained, ‘People always talk about your friendliness. Well, it’s true: you give them milk. But they get much more from me. They get ham and bacon and lard, and they even cook my feet. And yet – no one likes me. To all of them, I am just a pig. Why is that?”

“The cow thought it over a bit and then said, ‘Perhaps it’s because I give while I am still alive.’”

In Westminster Abbey, the inscription on the tombstone of Christopher Chapman, bearing the date of 1680, reads: “What I gave, I have. What I spent, I had. What I kept, I lost.”

Or to quote the words of James Keller, “A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.”

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