“If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts, but if he will content
to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties.”—Francis Bacon
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“For so many years, I lived in constant terror of myself. Doubt had married by fear and moved into my mind, where it built castles and ruled kingdoms and reigned over me, bowing my will to its whispers until I was little more than an acquiescing peon, too terrified to disobey, too terrified to disagree. I had been shackled, a prisoner in my own mind.”
The above statement came from the pen of Tahereh Mafi, author of Ignite Me. More often than not, most of us can relate to what she has experienced. Doubting oneself is not only an uncomfortable condition, but also a ridiculous one.
Doubts pertain to a sensation of uncertainty regarding a particular matter, particularly concerning its quality or veracity. This term, as the dictionary defines it, may also signify “a lack of confidence in something or someone,” or “the challenge of accepting a certain belief.”
In some instances, doubts can encompass the questioning of the truthfulness or probability of a situation, as well as a sense of distrust or skepticism.
“Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother,” penned Khalil Gibran. American president Franklin D. Roosevelt quipped, “The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.”
“When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt,” said Honore de Balzac. Dan Brule ruled: ““If you are going to doubt anything in life, doubt your own limitations.”
Doubt connotes negativism, something not good enough. Julia G. Smith, author of Life-Changing Decisions, pointed this out. “Doubt can leave us in a state of utter confusion. Anything that is questionable or causes doubt, especially an argument or a claim is a form of fear.
“In politics, ethics, law where very important decisions are made that often determine the course of someone’s life, doubt is central and often motivates an elaborate adversarial process to carefully sort through all the evidence to come to a decision,” Smith added.
Suzy Kassem reminded us all: “Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”
This brings me to the case of Hollywood actress Sally Field. She is very much aware that her acceptance speech at the 1985 Academy Awards is one of the most memorable aspects associated with her. Upon receiving her second Oscar for a leading role in Places in the Heart, the then 38-year-old actress joyfully proclaimed, “I can’t deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!”
Those words may have stemmed from her earlier insecurities following her first Oscar win for Norma Rae five years prior, a victory she initially perceived as a mere coincidence. Her doubts were erased as she got another Oscar, a feat only few actresses have done.
There are many reasons why we doubt ourselves, according to Lolly Daskal, founder of Lead from Within, thus making her one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world.
For one, these people care too much about what other people think. “It’s easy to get stuck on what people tell you about yourself,” Daskal explained. “If you focus too much on what other people think, you’ll never learn to think for yourself—and about yourself—on your own.”
Her suggestion: Stop worrying about what other people think and concentrate on doing your best.
For another, they fear they’re not good enough. Just like what Sally Field did. “Especially when you’re faced with something new, you may experience a fear that you’re not good enough for the task at hand,” Daskal pointed out. “This inner voice is your mind trying to protect you, but you don’t need protection. You just need to know you are as good as you need to be, and then take a chance.”
It is by conquering doubt that a person can free himself becoming a prisoner of his mind. In the long run, after so many years, Mafi was able to do so. “But finally, finally, I have learned to break free,” she penned.
It is also by believing in ourselves that we become master of ourselves. Instead of acting like sort of victims of life, we must position ourselves as conquerors. “Never say that you can’t do something, or that something seems impossible, or that something can’t be done, no matter how discouraging or harrowing it may be,” Mike Norton advised.
“Human beings are limited only by what we allow ourselves to be limited by: our own minds,” Norton further said. “We are each the masters of our reality; when we become self-aware of this: absolutely anything in the world is possible.”
But not all doubts are negatives. In fact, you can turn doubt into an asset if you know how. “Your doubt can become a good quality if you train it,” Rainer Maria Rilke wrote in his Letters to a Young Poet. “It must become knowing, it must become criticism.
“Ask it, whenever it wants to spoil something for you, why something is ugly, demand proof from it, test it, and you find it perhaps bewildered and embarrassed, perhaps also protesting,” Rilke explained.
Rilke ended it with these words: “But don’t give in, insist on arguments, and act in this way, attentive and persistent, every single time, and the day will come when, instead of being a destroyer, it will become one of your best workers – perhaps the most intelligent of all the ones that are building your life.”
