“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” – Voltaire
I was very early at the office yesterday. I turned on the Wi-Fi connection and it turned out there was no connectivity. I ended up reading the book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson.
I randomly opened the pages and the chapter that caught my attention was: “Remember to Appreciate the People You Work With.” I paused for a moment and pondered who the last person I have ever appreciated. I couldn’t think of. It may have been a long, long time that I could no longer remember it.
The first paragraph states: “One of the most consistent complaints of working people in virtually all industries is that they either feel completely unappreciated or at the very least under-appreciated. There seems to be an unspoken assumption that workers are lucky to have jobs – and the fact that they have jobs is appreciation enough. Any demands, expectations, or even hopes of verbal or behavioral appreciation is often treated as trivial or unnecessary.”
But that’s not true. Every person deserved to be appreciated – however little they have accomplished or done.
Carlson thinks so, too. “The problem is, people need and deserve to feel appreciated,” he further wrote. “People who felt appreciated are happier, less-stressed, and more loyal than those who feel taken for granted. Overall, they are harder workers and are excellent team players.”
These things happen, according to Carlson, when people are appreciated for the job they have done: “They quit less often, show up on time, get along with others, exhibit abundant creativity, and strive for excellence.”
Unappreciated people exhibit the opposite of the above traits, Carlson said. “People who are (or even feel) unappreciated often feel resentful and lose their enthusiasm for their work,” he wrote. “They can become pathetic and lazy. They are easily bothered, and certainly are no fun to be around or work with.”
Even in our daily chores, we need to appreciate the things we have. The good sleep we had the night before. The fresh air we breathe. The clean water we drink. The delicious food we eat.
But more often than not, we fail to appreciate these little things. We fail to say thanks to the bus driver who brings you to your destination. Have you ever smiled to the sales lady who helps you in making your choices of clothes easier? Or, even leaving a tip to the waiter who serves you the food you have eaten?
By a misplaced blow with a hammer, a man badly battered one of his thumbs. “That’s too bad,” a friend commented after seeing what had happened.
The man, a philosophical, said otherwise. “No, it isn’t,” he replied. “It is one of the best things that ever happened to me. It has taught me to appreciate the thumb. I never knew its value to me before. I found out that by actual count the first day after I injured my thumb that there were 257 things I had been using my thumb for every day of my life, without giving it a thought. And I never realized that it is practically indispensable to me.”
In his novel The Wedding, Nicholas Sparks noted of that. “It’s funny, but have you ever noticed that the more special something is, the more people seem to take it for granted? It’s like they think it won’t ever change. Just like this house here. All it ever needed was a little attention, and it would never have ended up like this in the first place.”
Yes, we need to give attention to someone we love, someone we know, and someone who needs to be appreciated. “Don’t forget, a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated,” wrote H. Jackson Brown, Jr. in Life’s Little Instruction Book: 511 Suggestions, Observations, and Reminders on How to Live a Happy and Rewarding Life.
When you appreciate someone, don’t overdo it. And please don’t ever flatter a person, especially if it doesn’t call for it. “The difference between appreciation and flattery?” asked Dale Carnegie in How to Win Friends and Influence People. “That is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out; the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish; the other selfish. One is universally admired; the other universally condemned.”
Now, let me end this piece with an anecdote authored by Rudyard Kipling. It goes this way:
There was once a gigantic cargo ship and a very small bolt which, like thousands of others, helped hold together the steel plates on the hull of the ship. As the ship was sailing through the rough Indian Ocean, that little bolt was vibrating loose and was in danger of falling off altogether. Seeing what was happening, the other little bolts around it screamed, “Watch out! Hang on! If you fall out, we’ll all be next.”
When the large steel ribs inside the ship heard of the little bolt’s problem, they shouted out loud, “For heaven’s sake! Don’t let go, you bolt. If you do, we’re all lost.”
The news of the little bolt’s danger of falling off flew to every corner of the big ship. So, the steel plates and all the other little bolts, along with the steel ribs and tiniest nails, sent a delegation to the little bolt to encourage him to hand on for dear life. They told him that he was important to them all. If he let go, the whole ship might come apart, and no one on it would ever get home alive.
All this pleading flattered the little bolt’s pride over his importance to so many people. So, he assured the resto of the crew that he intended to hold on with all his might.
This brings us to the words of Harley King. “Sometimes, we fight who we are, struggling against ourselves and our natures,” he said. “But we must learn to accept who we are and appreciate who we become. We must love ourselves for what and who we are, and believe in our talents.”
