When two people fall in love, they often look into motives and outcomes, but they pay less attention to the relationship. It is for this reason that they are more concerned about the qualities or attributes of the other, but forget that love is a process that makes two people grow, realize together a better version of themselves, and find meaning in the life that they live. Love fails because of our expectations, though it’s never really about the things we desire, but how the relationship strengthens two human beings who must face life’s great challenges and risk it all just to be happy.
But happiness is not something that can appear in front of your doorstep. The burden that you carry in what JP Sartre calls abandonment, is the life “in-between.” The meaning of one’s life doesn’t depend on what others think. You don’t have to believe the words of learned men. Listen to what ordinary people want to say. Just begin each new day by walking into the universe not knowing what to do with your life, for only then will you discover that the sky is not really blue but infinite. That is why we must persevere. As Hemingway once said in Old Man and the Sea, “a man can be destroyed, but not defeated.”
Love yourself. Self-love is not the same as being selfish. If you expect to be loved by other people but you can’t even love yourself, you basically have two problems. The first is convincing others that you’re worthy of anything. But you will find it hard to make other people believe that if you don’t even like yourself. If you want a better life or a bright career, you can’t be against you. You can be against your enemies but you must find value in your own individual capabilities. Judge those who judge you but do not judge yourself. If you hate yourself, that doesn’t sound logical. Give yourself a fighting chance in a world where true love and real friendship are hard to find.
In this life, people ask about what you have accomplished so far as if human happiness depends on worldly accolades. The culprit is the misconception that you have to reach the top and be the best in what you do. There’s nothing there. In this age of innocence, people realize that you will lose everything as soon as you lose your power. Most of your friends will forget you the moment you no longer have anything to give them. All that fame and influence mean nothing when those you value the most don’t see the human being in you. A man or woman who does not know the meaning of love is person with no soul. Man, indeed, is an embodied soul but without the latter, man is just flesh, with no history, no family, no culture, no world. A life of meaning is about how a person has purpose. It is not question whether he or she is up there. It is always about how one has lived a life, which also means, how one has truly loved.
In fact, what we often look forward to is that time when we are no longer needed by the world around us. You will value that time being alone and those precious moments spent with the ones you truly love. You can’t just die right now working and helping stupid and selfish people get rich when you have not yet truly enjoyed your real freedom. It’s when you realize that nothing of your medals and trophies mattered that you will begin to actually live. The most important thing to ask is not what you have achieved. Men love to pride themselves with the illusion of power, money, and fame, even wisdom. But living a meaningful life is truly simple. The pertinent question when it comes to the meaning of life is always about whether you have been a responsible parent, a good son or daughter, an honest person, a loyal friend, and a kind human being who never took advantage of others but instead, made every bit of effort to make this world a better place.
