“Learning to stand in somebody else’s shoes, to see through their eyes, that’s how peace begins. And it’s up to you to make that happen. Empathy is a quality of character that can change the world.”—Barack Obama, former president of the United States
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Empathy, akin to the concept of emotional intelligence, is a term that is often utilized yet remains challenging to articulate precisely. It encompasses the capacity to genuinely comprehend the emotions of others, allowing one to adopt another’s perspective and recognize their feelings.
“Empathy has no script,” Brene Brown remarked. “There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘You’re not alone.’”
Dr. Alfred Adler, an Austrian psychotherapist and founder of the school of individual psychology, has this to say: “Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and feeling with the heart of another.”
Empathy is not sympathy. Both emotions are interconnected yet distinct. Sympathy refers to the feeling of sorrow or pity for another individual, whereas empathy encompasses the ability to comprehend and share in another person’s emotional experience. Sympathy tends to manifest as an outward expression of emotion, in contrast to empathy, which represents a deeper, internal emotional reaction.
In 1206, Giovanni Bernadone, a 23-year-old heir of a prosperous merchant, embarked on a pilgrimage to St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome. During his visit, he was struck by the stark contrast between the grandeur of the interior – the dazzling mosaics and the ornate spiral columns – and the destitution of the beggars outside. He convinced one of them to swap garments with him and spent the remainder of the day in tattered clothing, soliciting alms.
This incident marked a pivotal moment in the young man’s life. Subsequently, he established a religious order whose members dedicated themselves to serving the impoverished and the lepers, renouncing their material possessions to embrace a life of poverty akin to those they aided.
Giovanni Bernadone, who is now recognized as St. Francis of Assisi, is celebrated for his proclamation: “Grant me the treasure of sublime poverty: permit the distinctive sign of our order to be that it does not possess anything of its own beneath the sun, for the glory of your name, and that it has no other patrimony than begging.”
Like the Italian priest, Indian activist Mahatma Gandhi had also shown empathy towards his countrymen. As Hemang Dave, a strategic thinker and innovator, puts it: “Gandhi is a profound, compelling example of empathy; his ability to truly feel what his countrymen felt, and to put himself in their shoes, allowed him to be the catalyst for real, lasting change for his country and for his people.”
Gandhi was born in 1869 into a prosperous family, with his father serving as an adviser to a king in India. He received a Western education, subsequently practicing law in both England and South Africa. In 1915, he returned to India to combat discrimination and challenge British colonial rule in his homeland.
In the initial years following his return, Gandhi traveled extensively across India to gain insight into the hardships faced by ordinary citizens. After several years of engaging with millions of impoverished individuals, he came to the realization that many of his fellow countrymen were surviving with only a single set of tattered clothing and often consuming fewer than two meals each day.
Gandhi came to understand that in order to effectively advocate for India’s independence from British domination, he needed to align himself with his fellow countrymen, adopting their way of life. In 1921, he started donning a Dhoti (a traditional loincloth) and a shawl. Additionally, he decreased his food consumption and opted for a more basic diet. He adhered to this austere lifestyle until his assassination in 1948.
Empathy comes from the Greek empatheia – “em” (into) and “pathos” (feeling) – a penetration, a kind of travel. Leslie Jamison explains: “(Empathy) suggests you enter another person’s pain as you’d enter another country, through immigration and customs, border crossing by way of query: ‘What grows where you are? What are the laws? What animals graze there?”
“Empathy is forgetting oneself in the joys and sorrows of another, so much so that you actually feel that the joy or sorrow experienced by another is your own joy and sorrow. Empathy involves complete identification with another,” said Dada Vaswani.
Now, the question is: Have you ever shown empathy to others? Remember, empathy is more than sympathy. Nice News’ Rebekah Brandes reminds, “There is often a disconnect between what we’re feeling and what other people ‘think’ we’re feeling, something that has led to plenty of misunderstandings and arguments between friends and strangers.
“That’s why learning how to effectively communicate our empathy to others, rather than simply feeling it, can be helpful in strengthening trust and inviting vulnerability in relationships,” she adds.
Dr. Helen Riess, an associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and the author of The Empathy Effect, dedicates a significant portion of her research to enhancing the empathetic practices of healthcare professionals towards their patients. However, the program she created for this initiative may also be advantageous for the general public; it is known as emphatics.
According to Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, the program’s steps are encapsulated in the acronym EMPATHY: Eye contact, Muscles in facial expressions, Posture, Affect, Tone, Hearing, and Your response.
Just remember these words from Stephen Covey: “When you show deep empathy toward others, their defensive energy goes down, and positive energy replaces it. That’s when you can get more creative in solving problems.”
